Tag Archives: spanx

I’m Having a Breakfast Baby

People of the world! Can we all agree on something now? That if you don’t know a woman is expecting, it is never ok to ask what she is having. Because I’m not. Having anything. At least not now. And I thought I looked really cute in this dress and boots today, but since you stopped me in the hallway with well-wishes, I’m wishing that I had added some Spanx to my wardrobe.

You see, I have a belly. An actually stomach that pooches out more than I’d like. A lot of women have them. I don’t work out or pretend that I’m doing anything to make it go away. Most days, my belly and I get along just fine. Maybe it’s the pleats in the dress or the way that I didn’t button my cardigan all the way down. Maybe it’s bloated from the delicious Danish that I had at breakfast. But now, it’s all I will think about today.

Instead of walking around feeling cute like I did when I left my house this morning, I’ll be hunched over for the rest of the day and sucking in my stomach and wishing I could just get home and hide in some giant T-shirt under a blanket where no one will look at me.

So, from now on, ask yourself… “Do I know this woman? Do I know that she is having a baby?” If not, “What are you having- a boy or a girl?” is not an appropriate good morning. And “I’m sorry,” when you’re corrected won’t make it right. Just hope you never run into me again. Because I will rub that belly of mine and next time when you ask what I’m having, my answer will be “Breakfast.”

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