Category Archives: Friends

A Man Above Reproach

book of love

I think good news for fellow writers is even better than good news for myself. I can talk myself out of believing my own hype, but when it comes to the incredible writers that I know, I can dive in wholeheartedly and wallow around in their well-deserved accolades.

So, it made my day to find out that Evelyn Pryce is a semi-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest for best romance entry! Who doesn’t love a juicy Regency story with a smart heroine and an enamored duke?

Amazon announces the finalists next month and I encourage you to download the FREE sample and throw all of your five-star reviews her way. You’ll hear more from this rising star- I bet my hat. If you’re an agent, a book blogger, a publisher of romance, don’t miss your chance to get in on the ground floor with this talented, hardworking writer.

Get your free sample HERE.

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Filed under Books, Friends, Reviews, Writing

The Courage to Let Them Love You

Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have read a series of posts I wrote a few months ago on the issue of coming out to my friends from home who I met through my (pretty conservative Evangelical) church. While I haven’t stayed in touch with all of them, there is a core group that I was very close to in high school and I enjoy keeping up with them from a distance- their baby pictures and family vacations and even the occasional political debate.

But, out of fear that they would shun me or de-friend me or…. I don’t even know, to be honest… I’ve kept them in a segregated list away from posts about the Lady or our life together. Our vacation pictures and updates about fun things we’ve done and the day-to-day inanity of Facebook updates has been hidden from them. Because I was scared. Scared that somehow my happiness would be something that they couldn’t love about me. Out of my own twisted fear that the same beliefs we shared as teenagers weren’t big enough for our changing lives as adults.

But today, after relentless doubt and debate with myself and some deep breaths, I sent them a message. I sent each one individually, for privacy’s sake, but the message was clear. You are my friend. I have hidden this from you, because of my own insecurity. I want you to know that I am loved. And I hope that we can still be friends. (And as a side note, I can be your friend whichever party you vote for or whether you eat at Chick-fil-A, because I believe people are more important than all of that insanity which has overwhelmed my Facebook feed for weeks).

And….. they replied. They replied with apologies if they have ever said anything that would make me believe they couldn’t love me no matter what. They replied that while their beliefs were clear, that didn’t mean that they were not themselves imperfect. They shared stories of friends from college and asked questions or for permission to ask to questions later. One even said that she had known (from this blog) but had chosen to respect that I never mentioned it on Facebook and let me tell her personally on my own schedule. Every single one (so far) has replied with love and acceptance and words that brought tears to my eyes or made me laugh.

It’s been a roller coaster of a day, and I’m still processing it a bit. Something I stressed about and cried about and worried over for months is done. I took a chance that people who have loved me for years (without knowing) could continue to do so. I had the courage to let them love me. And they had the courage to love me back.

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Filed under Building a Better Me, Daily Life, Friends, LGBTQ, Soul Searching

Working for the Weekend

The last two weekends, I have enjoyed the fact that it is finally warm enough in Pittsburgh to leave the house without cringing when you step outside. The rain is determined to drown us all, but I’d rather be warm and wet than cold and wet any day.

Last weekend, my pals from Under a Pine moved into the neighborhood, so we spent a rainy day in couch-moving shenanigans and an evening celebrating their arrival and the invention of grain alcohol. As you might imagine, I needed most of Sunday to recover. Then, I headed off to Wild and Wonderful Wheeling, WV for a night of delicious Mexican food and to see a writer friend give a presentation at his hometown library.

You might imagine that after a four-day weekend, I returned to work relaxed and ready for anything. You would be wildly incorrect. Instead, the three days of the work week felt like Chinese water torture. The projects that needed work all required waiting three days for emails and then a big hustle at the end to wrap them up before deadlines. I zoned out on conference calls. The rain soaked up from the puddles to the knees of my pants. My house started to slide into a state of book-piling and dish-stacking that would horrify any non-hoarder.

But then! Huzzah! A weekend again! Friday night was beer and good food in Bloomfield and at the Pines’ again. Then Saturday, when rain was predicted for the 972 day in a row, a miracle happened! Sun! Real, actual, warmth-bearing sunshine. BC had the day free, so he drove over and we went for a walk. Which ended up being an eight-mile trek to downtown Pittsburgh and back, because it was too beautiful to go back inside. We got sandwiches at Primanti’s for strength- if a gigantic sandwich covered in french fries and slaw doesn’t give you strength, you’re doing it wrong. Because I prefer to spend winter completely sedentary, my legs were a wee bit sore after that adventure. By that I mean, I contemplated crawling down my stairs on Sunday morning.

Since I had nothing to do all day on Easter, and the rain reappeared with its rainy-ness, Sunday was a day of rest. On the couch, with a little takeout and some movies. Then, joy of joys, it was time to head out to watch the brand new Doctor Who. Without a fancy cable plan, I love any show that I can get free online, but friends with gigantic televisions and cable do come in handy when you want to see something released recently.

And now, here we are. Back at Monday. Back in the office. Back to waiting for emails. I will suffer the indignity only because they pay for all the fun that I have on the weekends. I know. I’m so noble.

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Filed under Daily Life, Friends, Working for a Living

Saying Yes

Perhaps it’s that lack of sleep I mentioned earlier, but life is passing by in a bizarre dream-like manner these days. Days start and stop without warning. Nights are full of insanity- this week’s dreams included a creepy man with finger puppets, an exploding horse, a mafia kidnapping, some Twitter people on a hijacked bus, and a building I could only access by wading through a river. I’m napping when I can, only to wake up at bizarre hours. Last night, I slept from 8 to 10:30 pm and then stayed up writing until 4 am, only to get back up for work by 8 am. I’m a zombie, minus the brain-eating.

Nevertheless, I’ve had some good times. Maybe because my brain’s filters are completely off, maybe because I have great friends, or maybe I’ve dreamed them all. I’m trying this new thing, because I’m too tired to make excuses, where I say yes. Yes to joining some friends to watch a charity video game event live, yes to a late night dinner, yes to a birthday happy hour, and tonight, yes to murder mystery dinner with a group for Valentine’s Day.

And the yes seems to work for me. I could have begged off tonight and stayed in with a chick flick in my pj’s. It was cold outside and started hailing at the bus stop. I was exhausted. But, I went. And, surprise! I had a really great time laughing and eating Italian food and solving the mystery. I sipped a glass of sangria and laughed at all the silly over-the-top jokes. I wore my cute skirt and my purple tights. I smiled at the beautiful gray-haired couples celebrating their 30th or 40th Valentine’s Day. And instead of choosing to feel pitiful, I felt glad. I was happy that other people are in love. Not jealous, not mopey, not whiny. Just happy. Actually happy.

So, to you and whoever your Valentine was this year, a belated Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m happy for you. This year, friends were my valentines. At least, I think they were. Maybe I just dreamed it.

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Filed under Daily Life, Friends, Relationships

Thanksgiving Wrap-Up

The little solo Thanksgiving I planned grew a little bit. On Wednesday night, I headed out with BC and his boyfriend for a few pre-holiday cocktails and as the night wore on, I heard about a few other solo Thanksgiving types. A friend whose mother was in the hospital and had nowhere to go. Former guests of mine who didn’t know I wasn’t hosting until the last minute. Two neighbors with no cooking plans. My mini-me, whose family had eaten the weekend before. Another friend whose mom might not make it in time for their lunch reservations due to snow. And so, by midnight, I had texted out invites to six or seven orphans.

I woke up on Thursday,  loaded the twelve-pound bird into the oven, threw together my collected side-items, and waited to see who would show up. And by mid-afternoon there were three of us, tucked in around giant heaping plates of gravy-laden goodness. We followed up the meal with the old black-and-white “Miracle on 34th Street” on TV. Then Mini-Me hung out until dark for a girl-fest- doing our nails, playing with Bump-Its, and watching ThanksKilling on Netflix.

Over the weekend, I passed out leftovers to anyone who stopped by: cornbread stuffing, turnip greens, mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie- anything the fridge was overflowing with.

This Thanksgiving, I was most thankful for enough food to share, for a home to host anyone that needed it, and for an extended family of friends who knew they would be welcome in my home. And I still got to wear my flannel pajamas.

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Filed under Friends